Be the Match

May I begin this post by saying: this is not a brag post. I am hoping to dissipate information for a good cause.

Just a few minutes ago, I registered online to be a bone marrow donor. This is no frivolous sign-up. This means that I am willing and healthy enough to donate my bone marrow to a total stranger somewhere in the country at a moment's notice, if it turns out that I happen to be a match. The odds are, according to the website, 1 in 540.

What initiated this decision? Friendship. We have a "couple friend"-- and that's a rare thing to find. A couple friend, be definition, is a husband and wife who get along with another husband and wife and hopefully have some kind of mesh with the kids, too, and who both appreciate sushi and possess at least a few other shared interests. We're fortunate to have a few couple friends who tolerate my loudness and obsession with fitness, as well as my husband's quiet sense of humor and impatience with conversation for conversation's sake (he thinks there must be an activity of some sort to warrant conversation; whereas I grew up with 5 aunts and that's all they did, sit in a circle and talk. Talking is the activity.)

Well, this particular couple are going through the hellish journey of trying to beat leukemia. The reality of it is that their lives have been turned upside down. They must take one day at a time & choose to fight and hope. We hope with them. I wish I could fight with them, too. It's hard to see dear friends going through pain, knowing you're helpless to alleviate it. All we can do is try to take away their other daily "struggles"-- preparing meals, watching kids, drop off a pick-me-up treat or bouquet. In this way, we feel proactive. And yet, I still feel fairly unhelpful. And honestly, a little guilty. Why should my life be going so splendidly? Why am I in good health? Why is our happiness unfettered by such unexpected hardship? Perhaps it is simply not yet our turn.

But let's not turn too somber. My post is about hope. About giving hope and being hope. Maybe not for my friend, who fortunately has a donor match already. But for someone else like him, somewhere in the country. After learning about Be the Match, an online registry for potential bone marrow donors, I decided to look into it. I read the FAQs, the descriptions of the possible bone marrow extraction procedures (of which there are 2, both somewhat unpleasant), and the health requirements. To me, there wasn't much to think about. I've had epidurals (in my tiny spinal spaces); I've birthed babies; I've had laser hair removal, among other "correctional" procedures I've had done. I've run 3 marathons and survived 4 (soon to be 6) Ragnar relays (in van 2, might I add). I've spent 12 weeks on a bodybuilding diet. Okay, now this is starting to sound like a brag post ;)

The point is: I've survived pain. I've survived needles, anesthesia, and unpleasant procedures. I'm a tough chica. I believe that most women are. Most men would probably agree with me that women are TOUGH. What we go through to get children into this world, and then what we go through to fix everything said process did to our bodies-- takes mental & physical toughness. I know my hubby almost passed out when he saw me get an epidural!

So even though the bone marrow extraction is not as simple as merely donating blood or plasma, and does involve pain and recovery time, it's nothin'. I can do it. And I hope to do it. It was good to read that they need ethnic diversity, and my filipino blood provides just that. It was good to read that they need young, healthy individuals, and I have done everything in my power to be one.

Quick tangent: I'm in the throes of training right now for a bikini bodybuilding comp. I haven't discussed it much this time around, well, because I'm no longer new to it, & I hate to wear listeners out with dull stories about my inner struggles with diet, weigh-ins, and double-cardio days, yada yada. But there it is, I am doing a comp. And during this training, I do sometimes feel super selfish. My days revolve around my workouts, my meals, my moisturizing, my posing in the mirror, my pinching my body fat, and basically my fairly constant obsession with my physique. In my defense, I do a lot of service for others while trying to keep myself out of the fridge and pantry. But again, it is my body that is in the back of my mind.

However . . . while all this may very well BE selfish, the result is an incredibly, amazingly HEALTHY body. My muscles, tissues, organs, cells-- every particle of me is well-hydrated, strong, clean, untainted by saturated fats, refined sugars, or processed foods. My immune system is like the world's strongest military. My energy levels are beyond what most moms ever experience. Which brings me back to this point: I was grateful and proud and humbled to be able to make this commitment, knowing full well that my body can take it & that I do not have any health issues that would make me a non-viable candidate.

To maintain a strong, healthy body IS a service to others-- it is a service to my children because I have energy to play with them; it is a service to my spouse because, well, I have the energy to play with him, too! And it is a service to all the people in my life who I am able to help in any way. Never feel selfish for taking care of your body.

On that note, I know that many of my readers are healthy and strong. I invite you to consider joining this registry to become a bone marrow donor. If I could be the one to save my friend, I would do it in a heartbeat. And if I can't give my bone marrow to him, I would like it to go to someone like him. The more people we can get to join this registry, the more possibilities of hope for leukemia patients. Bone marrow transplant is their last hope.

Just go to this website to read all about it & to register. Haven't you ever wanted to save a life? http://marrow.org/Registry_Members/Donation/Steps_of_Donation.aspx

Why It's So Hard to Reach & Maintain Exercise & Nutrition Goals

Anyone who has been lucky enough to be a guest in my home, and has made proper use of the guest bathroom, knows what my "library" reading material is comprised of: Yoga Journal & IDEA Fitness Journal. Sorry, I know I should leave more general reading material in there, like People or Reader's Digest, but as a mom who drinks over a gallon of water a day, this bathroom is MY bathroom. Often I hide in there, doing no potty business at all, just so I have a valid excuse to ignore everything and catch up on my studies. Hopefully no guest is actually in there long enough to pick up reading material, but if you do, I hope you learn something useful! I know I always do :)

So during one of my most recent hiding sessions, I read through my latest IDEA Fitness Journal, which is (in my possibly biased opinion since I write freelance for them) the BEST fitness and nutrition source out there. Designed for fitness instructors, managers, and personal trainers, it is smart without being densely medical, but medical enough that it is professional, scientifically-based, and cutting edge. As a professional journal, you will not find it on the newsstands besides Shape and Fitness magazines, which often have great exercises and articles for average readers, but lack some of the finer details that fitness professionals need, like the why's and how's. I get my very best ideas from IDEA, naturally. So it's an honor to contribute to them.

Back to what I learned in this issue that really struck a chord. The article is entitled "The Compliance Solution" by John Berardi, PhD, and Krista Scott-Dixon, PhD. The purpose of the piece is to explain the science behind why our clients often fail to stick with their fitness and healthy eating routines and fall short so often of reaching their goals. For trainers, this is a very frustrating but common occurrence. So here are some of the main points:

1.) Behavior research shows that us humans do NOT make decisions with the logical side of our brains but rather our emotional, empathetic, image-oriented right brain.

2.) Our logical brain circuits were late developments evolutionarily speaking. Being a "smart human" is not first nature, or even second nature. First, we have our "reptilian" components-- breathing, heart rate, fluid balance, etc. Then "early mammalian"-- mating and social behaviors. Next came our sensory and motor components, those that allow us to hear, taste, smell, stay upright, and play sports using balls ;) Finally, came our logic and smarts. So when the going gets tough, we revert back to our basic survival instincts and throw logic out the door. All we want, like the reptiles and early mammals within us, is to be fed, happy, safe, and to feel good.

3.) So when I ask a client to come to an intimidating gym and do cardio that makes her heart race & strength training that makes her muscles shake, the primal brain may kick in and she will feel threatened, not elated, as I assume she will feel riding the endorphin-high.

4.) Willpower is a resource that can be depleted. When we are having to use it every day for weeks on end, as is the case with dieting and exercising for weight loss, at some point, we run out. We need to fill the well of willpower by seeking joyful experiences, which don't have to be food or exercise-related necessarily.

5.) Our modern-day environment is also against us and clients. "Food manufacturers purposely create foods that light up our brain's reward pathways and make our tongues and noses do a happy dance. This food also gives us-- in abundance-- what would have been scarce and valuable a million years ago: salt, sugar, and fat. Why on earth would our primal brain trade deep-dish pizza for rice cakes?" Also, because our modern-day environment is so fast-paced & stimulating, we are frazzled and stressed, and again, threatened.

Reading this article gave me so many ah-ha moments. As a fitness-lover, it's clear I do not experience primal reactions to exercise. But as a human and a woman, I do understand the kind of willpower it takes to change your eating habits. It's taken me years, but I now feel fairly confident in mine. That's not to say that I never really want to dive into a Godiva-chocolate cheesecake! It is always a daily choice, but it's become easier. I credit cutting refined sugars and my taste buds altering, along with my lack of hormonal responses to said sugar, that I am able to stay pretty even-keeled now around food. But I understood while reading these facts, that I am the exception. I am not the rule. (Does that mean I'm more highly evolved? Sounds cocky, but it could be true . . .)

What I have always perceived as fun, exhilarating, and intrinsically rewarding (EXERCISE), most people perceive as painful, scary, and punishment. When I'm pleading with my clients to give up soda (an easy way to drop 10-15 lbs without trying), and I'm thinking, "For the love, just DO it! It's not that hard!" They're feeling like I'm taking away their greatest comfort in life-- it's like trying to wean a toddler from his binky-- there's a lot of kicking and screaming, and even though you know it'll be good for him, part of you wants to just shove that binky right back in his slobbery little mouth! It's good for me as a trainer to understand why this "simple" change is so difficult for them, besides the fact that said soda contains addictive substances, I'm putting the client in a place to feel threatened. While the change still needs to take place, (honestly, do you want your 18-year old sucking a binky?), as a trainer I need to provide a do-able strategy for my client to make the change.

Let's return to the binky analogy (sorry, I'm a mommy!) . . . some kids do best with the cold-turkey approach. Some need bribery. Some need trickery (if you've ever cut a hole in a binky or doused it in tabasco, you know what I'm talking about). It depends on the personality of the child. And so with clients, I cannot take a one-size-fits-all approach.

I also realized I need to involve my clients more in setting their specific goals and tackling one thing at a time. This way, they can succeed every day at one thing. Then they can master it and move on to their next goal. This ensures much greater success than asking them to re-vamp their entire life all at once. And this technique will ensure YOU, my dear reader who may be trying to reach a health and fitness goal, also succeed!

So, while I should probably copyright this since it reflects a lot of my time, research, and experience, I am freely sharing with my readers a Client Confidence Self-Evaluation I have created to help me better understand my clients and their goals and how we should approach them. This can be helpful for you to identify what you value most, set goals that are actually important to you, and prioritize your goals so that you are not trying to tackle too many goals at one time. Good luck!

Step 1: Complete self-evaluation.

Step 2: Highlight your top 5 Nutrition-Based Goals that you do NOT feel confident about. Highlight your top 5 Exercise-Based Goals that you do NOT feel confident about. This will identify which goals you most value. Remember, I am here to help you reach your goals, not mine for you. Once those goals have been achieved, you may be more confident to set new and higher goals.

Step 3: Number the 5 goals in order of priority, 1 being your first priority, the goal that is most important to you right now.

Step 4: Turn in your evaluation results to me. I will look for your 10s & make note of these—no need to push these ones if you have already mastered them. Then I identify your top 5 goals in each area & devise a strategy and timeline for you to achieve them, based on your priorities. Realize that not every goal will be one that you WANT or NEED to accomplish.

Client Confidence Self-Evaluation

Please rate yourself for each statement below on a scale of 0-10, 0= you feel this goal is impossible for you to reach or you have no desire to accomplish this goal, 10= you feel like you have already mastered this goal 100% & it is a non-issue. Be honest! This will help your trainer prioritize your personal goals, so that you can master one thing at a time & experience a greater degree of success. It is okay to not be perfect at everything!

Nutrition-Based Goals	Confidence Rating
I never drink soda, diet or otherwise.
I drink plenty of water a day.
I always eat breakfast.
I avoid eating high fat foods, like cheese, ice cream, donuts, burgers, sausage, bacon, pizza, etc.
I avoid eating at fast food restaurants.
I eat plenty of fruits a day.
I eat plenty of vegetables a day.
I avoid refined sugar (including in cereals, packaged oatmeal, baked goods, juice, soda, etc).
I eat 5-6 mini-meals a day.
I keep alcohol intake to a minimum or not at all.
I avoid eating packaged/processed foods.
I eat healthy fats sparingly (nuts, avocado, oils, fish) and bad fats rarely (meat fat, cheese/cream fat, lard).
I eat a good balance of protein, complex carbs, and healthy fats.
I eat appropriate food portions for my weight, age, gender, & metabolic disposition.
I eat whole grains (whole wheat bread, whole wheat tortillas, brown rice, whole wheat pasta) instead of refined starches (white bread, white tortillas, white rice, white pasta).
I drink skim milk, soy milk, or almond milk, and in moderation.
I feel knowledgeable about what foods are high-quality protein sources.
I feel knowledgeable about the difference between starchy and fibrous carbs.
I feel knowledgeable about the difference between simple & complex carbs.
I feel knowledgeable about healthy and unhealthy fats.
I feel knowledgeable about different sweeteners and which ones I should consume or avoid.
When cooking/eating, I generally bake, broil, steam, or grill instead of fry or deep-fry.
I eat in a leisurely manner rather than in a rushed manner.
I rarely eat to “stuffed” point.
I eat my own portion and do not go back for seconds or eat the food off others’ plates (kids’ plates included).
I avoid eating late at night.
I eat at a table (rather than on the couch, in the car, at a desk).
I never binge-eat.
I eat based on hunger rather than emotions or stress levels.
I feel I make good food choices even in party settings.
I take a daily multivitamin.
I eat red meats sparingly.
I eat fish.
I have and eat from a garden during the summer.
I feel I am a good example of healthy eating to my family.

Exercise/Functional Fitness-Based Goals	Confidence Rating
I am physically capable/fit to walk for 1 hour.
I am physically capable/fit to jog/run for 10 minutes straight.
I am physically capable to balance on one foot for 1 minute straight.
I am physically capable to reach my toes from a standing & forward spinal bend position.
I am physically capable to reach my arms straight up beside my ears.
I am physically capable/fit to walk up and down stairs without holding a rail.
I am physically capable of getting out of bed without rolling onto my side first.
I am physically capable of performing at least 5 push-ups from a modified push-up position (just above knees instead of on toes.)
I am physically capable of holding a plank pose for at least 20 seconds. (core strength)
I am physically capable of carrying 20 lbs (of groceries, a toddler, luggage, etc.) for at least 5 minutes. (bicep strength)
I am physically capable of performing a standing quad stretch and pulling my heel to my glute. (quad flexibility)
I am physically capable/fit to ride a bike for at least 20 minutes.
I am physically capable to sit cross-legged without back support. (hip flexibility)
I am physically capable to brush/blow dry my hair for at least 5 minutes. (shoulder strength)
I am physically fit to run 1 mile without walking.
I am physically fit to complete a 1-hr fitness class.
I am physically fit to perform at least 10 regular push-ups.
I am physically fit to perform a wall sit (90 degree squat with back against wall) for at least 15 seconds.
I am physically fit to hike 45 minutes at 5-9% incline (up to Timp Cave)
I am physically fit to run a 5K (3.1 miles) in under 35 minutes.
I am physically fit to play a game of basketball, volleyball, or team sport of choice.
I am physically fit to perform abdominal 30 crunches in a row.
I am physically fit to swim 3 short-lane (50 meter) laps in the pool.
I am physically fit to swim 3 long-lane (100 meter) laps in the pool.
I am physically fit to perform 10 tricep dips from a bench (with my legs extended rather than bent).
I am physically fit to balance on one foot with the heel slightly elevated off the floor (other knee lifted) for at least 10 seconds. (Stork Test)
I am physically fit to perform at least 1 pull-up unassisted.
I am physically fit to hold a V-sit for at least 10 seconds.
I enjoy mild-intensity exercise.
I enjoy moderate-intensity exercise.
I enjoy high-intensity exercise.
I enjoy strength training exercise.
I enjoy stretching.
I like to exercise every day for at least 20 minutes.
I will exercise at home if I cannot make it to the gym.
I feel knowledgeable in how to strength train for my desired physique/goals.
I feel knowledgeable about proper form when exercising.
I feel knowledgeable about proper stretching.
I feel knowledgeable about the muscles of my body.
I feel knowledgeable about how to fuel my body for exercise & about proper hydration.