Facebook Follies

So I've been meaning to write this blog post ever since this incident went down, but it occurred on Christmas Eve, if you can believe it, & I've been busy enjoying the holidays. Now that my schedule is settling down, I'd like to explain said incident & finally offer my full response.

I believe Facebook to be a fantastic networking tool to foster friendships, professional relationships, and family relationships, & that's how I choose to use it, with an emphasis on my profession as a fitness instructor & trainer, with a few Mommy anecdotes here and there. I will friend almost anyone who requests me, as I see it as a possible bridge or opportunity to reach more people. So when an old high school friend's sister asked to friend me, despite the fact that I had zero relationship with her in school, I said yes. No big deal.

Fast forward several months, I think. I don't know-- one of those friends you forget you have because you don't follow them at all. I receive a text on Christmas Eve morning from my sister: "Were u friends w/ X on FB?? I think she may have just blasted you out . . ."

Me: "What? I'll look . . ." A few minutes later  "Huh, we were friends but I guess she unfriended me, ha! Whatever for? What did she say??"

Sis: "I'll send it to you . . ."

Forwarded fb email:

At first I thought it was funny, and then I thought--she's talking about my sister...

I had to de-friend someone because I was sick of seeing her post about how many miles she ran or come workout with me or look I'll post photos of my self because I work out every minute of everyday. Well first off if you have that much time in the day good for you but some people have to much stuff going on that we cant spend all our time at the gym and look as anorexic as you. I know it's Xmas and you JUST had a great workout but hey stay home with your family it won't hurt a bit and I don't think you'll get fat because you had an egg roll!! Ok re focusing back into the Xmas spirit...I'm just saying GET OVER YOURSELF!!

I actually laughed out loud when I read X's status. My sis & I both knew I was the apparent subject of X's rant because my post that morning was, "30 min cycle, 60 min Zumba, 30 min lifting. Bring on the lumpia ;) woot woot!" Lumpia is the filipino egg roll, FYI.


My response at the time was just this:

Lol, just got unfriended by someone because I work out too much! 1) it's my job. Lucky for me I only have to do it 1-2 hrs a day-- doesn't get much better than that. 2) I'm a happier, more energetic mom & wife because of it & am able to give more to my family & friends & be of greater service to others because of it.

If I have to be unfriended, I'm glad that's the reason ;) cheers! And to each his own...

My sis did the loyal thing and dumped X off her friends list. Neither of us will miss her. Truly, I think she was trying to be humorous. I know I laughed. But unfriending, or defriending, whatever the proper term may be, is, in my opinion, an unnecessary harsh act. With the option of hiding people's posts, the only reason to actually physically delete someone from your list is to make a point, to say, "I am 100% willing to burn this bridge as it serves me no purpose socially, professionally, or personally." Indeed, if that is the case, unfriend away! If that is not the case, it may bite you in the buttocks later. 

But I digress . . .  Had I actually posted something offensive, I would have felt terrible. As it was, I was Christy being Christy, and that is one thing I cannot change, nor would I apologize for it or feel bad about it. I have a passion for health & fitness & try to motivate & inspire others. I can only guess at how many other "friends" find my posts utterly annoying. Hide them! Wallow in your unhealthy eating & couch-loving ways. Like I said, to each his own.

 

I do want to address a couple issues X brought up. First, the posting of photos because I work out everyday. I think it's a shame how many clients I speak with who hate themselves in the mirror, who hide from the camera, who have no photos of themselves because they are ashamed of how they look. How is that a life well-lived if you are not happy with yourself? How is that OKAY? Many women feel like that is acceptable, the norm even. I challenge that! No matter what your age, no matter how many babies you've birthed, no matter what injuries you've sustained or horrors you've seen or traumas you've lived through, it is not okay to hide from yourself. This is why my job is so important. As a trainer, I get to help women change their habits, improve their health & fitness & self-perception & gain confidence. It's not vain to take a good look at yourself in the mirror & say, "I am beautiful, inside & out. I am strong, inside & out. I am worth the effort I put into myself. I am here for others because I am here first for myself. I am ready to conquer the world." This is what I want my daughters to know. So go ahead, post those photos! 

Second, she implied that she somehow has fewer hours in the day than I do. I have a lot of clients who make the same claim. This really, really irks me. Granted, if you work a full-time job, much of your time is already obligated out. But guess what? We all have 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week. I am not that special that I am granted more hours in a day. One of my clients so aptly hit the nail on the head when she showed up to a workout totally bubbling with excitement & said, "I cannot believe how much more energy I have now that I'm eating better & exercising more! I can play with my kids! I get things done so much faster! I just can't believe it! I feel like I have so much more time!" 

That's the beautiful thing about making healthier choices & living a very active life-- the fitter, the stronger, the better your cardio health, the more flexible and mobile you are, the faster you move in everything you do! The more energy you have to knock out that To Do list! The happier you feel! I know it seems counterintuitive. If you're too busy right now, how in the world are you going to squeeze in an hour of exercise 6 days a week like trainer Christy is crazily suggesting??

 

Do it. Try it. It is an amazing phenomenon. I like to call it the Wonder Woman phenomenon. It is how I manage to get 3 kids out the door to school on time everyday, teach a class or 2 or 3 a day, do 2 loads of laundry, write a blog post, volunteer at the school, vacuum the house, play with the dog, taxi the kids to gymnastics, piano, & playdates, tackle Costco twice a week, meet with clients, play Words with Friends, whip up dinner, & manage to look clean & presentable by the time the hubby walks in the door at 7 pm every night. Guess what? I'm nothing special. I know hundreds of other women who do the same exact thing. It's because they're strong, healthy, & fit. Luckily, in my industry, I am surrounded by the greatest examples of health & fitness. It is why my fb stream is nothing but status updates of people's workouts, healthy recipes, sore muscles, running mileage, etc. To me, this is NOT weird. Or annoying. It's AWESOME! It's motivating and inspiring and exciting.

Third, she implied that I look anorexic. Um, yeah, my entire family got a good laugh at that one! Obviously, I don't post unflattering pics of myself (who does?), but if she saw my thighs in real life, she would eat those words guaranteed. Plus, anorexia is a severe disorder & a term I wouldn't toss around lightly. It is a horrible mental disorder. It makes me sad for those who truly suffer from it, so I will leave it at that.

Fourth, she stated that I spend all my time at the gym instead of with my family. Let me start by saying, I am extremely fortunate to be married to an intelligent, educated, hardworking man who is able to fully provide for our family. (I say fortunate, but I take partial credit for his success-- he was a ski bum who skipped all his classes when I met him in college; I was a Phi Kappa Phi-Magna Cum Laude type whom he had to impress . . . He kicked it in gear!) This allows me to work because I LOVE it, not because I have no choice. Not everyone is so lucky. It also allows me to choose my own work hours. This is why I teach classes 8-11 am when my kids are in school; why I train clients while my girls are in gymnastics class; why I only teach 1 evening class a week. I LOVE to be home with my family. My job takes very little away from my family. As far as wifely duties, I'd give myself an A-- the hubby has a healthy dinner ready when he gets home, a clean house, clean & folded clothes, kids who are happy to see him, and a wife who loves him and looks hotter than the day we met! What husband could complain about them apples?

 

When my kids get home from school, I'm here to greet them everyday, usually with snacks and a chore list ;) Our home is an open one, where friends are always welcome, and it is often full of rowdy boys and squealing girls, as well as a cat, a dog, two fish, and some hibernating moths (we thought they were butterflies).  I have been PTA President, Alpine School District Volunteer of the Year, Volunteer Chorus Director at my kids' school, kindergarten helper, Field Day coordinator, just to name a few-- because I just love my kids, love being where they are, and value education. I can't think of a better way to serve that most directly impacts my kids and the kids of our community. 

I think I'm performing fairly well in the mom department. I will say, I'm a better mom after I've worked out-- more patient, more easy-going, more energetic, more interested. But why should I even have to defend myself? Why are women so critical of other women? Aren't we all just trying to do the best we can with what we've got? Well, no love lost. And it gave me a juicy blog post at least ;)