3 Weeks Down, 8 to Go!

So I've been terrible about updating because my progress has been so terribly SLOW. Which is frustrating when I'm gnawing my way through 2 cups of celery instead of enjoying my warm bowl of oatmeal every morning, day in & day out. I think my problem is I want quick results; I expect quick results with the strict eating regimen I'm on. And when I don't see it, I start to get what is termed "the nibbles"-- I thought I made this up myself, but after reading a bodybuilding blog, I realized everyone gets the nibbles. The term probably goes as far back as the neanderthals-- frustrated after unsuccuessful hunting and gathering, they probably ate anything mildly edible that they happened upon. Only I don't eat anything-- I nibble a few extra almonds here, a few raspberries there (which aren't on the regimen right now), some watermelon (I justify this as my water intake), and if I'm really naughty, the crust of my child's whole wheat PBJ. I know, that sounds pathetic, but you don't realize the joy to the tastebuds of that "accidental" run-in with peanut butter. Besides, it's hard to overcome my previous belief system: that if it isn't on MY plate, the calories don't count.

So I get the nibbles. And it's my guess that the nibbles are holding me back. Today I weighed in at 123.8, down only 1 pound from last week. (It didn't help that last night was a huge family birthday party, i.e. Costco cake, and Friday night was a BBQ with friends.) That's about 2 hours of intense exercise a day, on 1300 cal a day (plus nibbles). My tape measurements are more encouraging. I've lost about 1/2 inch from each thigh, 1/4 inch from my waist from last week. The mirror is even more encouraging. I am beginning to see that oblique arch; my abs are pretty stellar (underneath the nibbles fat); my arms are sleeker; my legs are becoming more symmetrical (right and left measurements are matching more). Symmetry is an important part of what judges are looking for, or so I've read, so I've been working on that. When I look in the mirror, I yell at my scale. What does Mr. Weight Watchers Scale know anyway? It always says my body fat is 23%, no matter if I weigh 130 or 117. Stupid $60 scale. Cost more than my hooker heels I just ordered . . .

I'm feeling good, though, going into this next week because a.) the hubby is going on a work trip. For some reason, when he's gone, I eat less. I'm too busy to even sit down when he's gone, and I don't have to watch him chowing down on chips and salsa and whatnot every evening.  b.) it's the last week on this eating regimen. Yes! Granted, the next round Trainer Jill gives me may be even harder. I've lucked out some with the strawberries and red peppers and grilled zucchini. But anything, ANY.THING. you have to eat every day for 4 weeks is going to make you depressed after awhile. You begin to feel a dreariness, a monotony, like, haven't I lived this same exact day? Didn't I live it yesterday and the day before yesterday and the day before that?? Wake up, eat your meal, work out, eat your meal . . . yada yada yada. I'm excited for a new meal plan. Fingers crossed . . . I'm guessing every regimen will have some basics in common. First and foremost- spinach. Lots of spinach. It's the biggest iron source when you're not eating red meat. It has very few calories. And it's filling. Popeye had it right about spinach. I'm guessing more turkey and chicken, though I'd love some mahi instead. Mahi's pricier, but oh so tender, and you can eat more of it for the same caloric value of a teeny weeny piece of chicken. I wouldn't mind tuna either. As far as veggies, I'm guessing broccoli because I haven't had broccoli in awhile. I'd be good with that. Though the zucchini has been arriving on my doorstep for FREE from my kind neighbors, and the broccoli in my garden is beginning to dwindle. And the fruit? Last time it was grapes and pineapple; this time a little banana, blueberries, & strawberries. Really, I will take all the fruit I can get and any fruit she so kindly gives me! I'm kind of a fruit fanatic! What I know for sure is that there will not be chocolate, ice cream, cereal, or bread anywhere in my meal plan.

Ah . . . I might as well stop guessing. I'll know by this upcoming weekend. I'm sure you, my dear readers, will be hanging on the edge of your seats just waiting to know, too! Until then, enjoy this little list I came upon . . . I actually get some of it now:

You Know You're a Figure Competitor When:

1. For a few days each year your toilet seat is brown and this time it ins't the husbands fault.


2. You can honestly say you have spent more on a bathing suit than your wedding dress.

3. Five inch clear hooker heels are your footwear of choice in your own home (and not just in the bedroom).

4. Someone asks about the man in your life and you tell that Gym is fine!

5. You have two sections in your wardrobe. Contest-season and Off-season. And they aren't mix and match.

6. Your top three priorities on any given day:

A. Workout.

B. Eat Clean.

C. Check the fitness forum board.

Not necessarily in that order.

7. You can name any pro figure competitor by seeing her butt alone.

8. When someone wants to take your picture, you immediately spread your lats, tighten every muscle in your body, point your fingers and SMILE!

9. You take more pills daily than your 80 year old grandmother.

10. Your idea of dressing up is taking your hair out of the pony tail its been in for a week.

11. If you have had someone close to you, hide food from you in your own house.

12. An easy day is lifting and only 1 cardio session.

13. Instead of carrying a Gucci pursue you accessorize with a Coleman cooler.

14. Waking up so sore you can barely move puts a smile on your face.

15. You cant do any work because you are to busy counting down the seconds until your next meal.

16. The faint smell of Pro Tan gets your heart pumping faster than your man's cologne.

17. You leave a little trail of Splenda packets, tupperware, and empty water bottles everywhere you go.

18. Your hubby makes you pee in the guest bathroom because every meal includes asparagus.

19. You consider Beano an essential part of your supplement regimen.

20. Your jaws are sore because you can't stop chewing sugar free gum!

21. You spend at least 5 minutes grilling your server at a restaurant, and another five minutes re-writing the menu until you've got a meal that meets your diet's specifications, and then you devour it in less than 60 seconds flat!!

22. You consider a day when you only have to make ONE trip to the gym a luxury!

23. You think about having relaxed hands and sticking your butt out while standing in line at the grocery store.

24. You consider condiments and diet coke taboo!!!

25. And your neighbors start gossiping that you've had lipo cause there is no way a girl could get that fit in 12 weeks!