New Meal Plan!

Today is my lucky day! New shoes! New meal plan! Hip hip hooray! Just gotta finish up my meals for the weekend & Monday is a whole new eating plan. Halle-frickin-lujah! If I had to eat one more bite of zucchini . . . Don't get me wrong-- I adore seasoned grilled zucchini. What I don't adore is 5-day old seasoned grilled zucchini re-heated in the microwave. It is soggy. It is limp. It is bleh. But what's a girl to do? You have to meal prep. It is just so not feasible to make each meal fresh, 6-7 meals a day, slicing and dicing and rinsing and cooking. Meal prepping is the only way.

Some meals prep farther than others. I learned I could do cottage cheese & sliced strawberries up to 5 days at a time. But roasted asparagus spears . . . 3-4 days is best. Although it's so easy to make an entire week's worth at once, which is usually what I end up doing. But by day 4, I'm stuck with soggy, limp asparagus. Not appealing. Maybe that's a huge part of why the eating is so darn difficult. Meal prepping. And nuking a once perfect piece of chicken after it's been in the fridge for a week.

Okay, so now I'm feeling a bit mean for being so happy to say farewell to Meal Plan 1 (post-vacation). I must give it a proper tribute. What will I miss the most from this past month's meal plan? Almonds! No nuts to be seen on next month's. I'm guessing this is a good thing because nuts is where I tend to nibble. I mean, who can stop at 4 almonds? Now my fats are avocado (yes!yes!yes!) and olive oil. As you can tell, dear reader, I'm pretty stoked about avocado.

I will also miss my strawberries and cottage cheese, which was the closest thing to cheesecake I'll ever get! It was simple to prep and absolutely delicious. And I'll miss the red peppers, the veggie candy. I'll miss the yummy blueberry-banana protein shake, too. My dear favorite meals, fare thee well until we meet again.

And now, a little sample of some of the delicacies my palate will soon enjoy: a corn tortilla-- O.M.G. a carb that isn't a fruit or veggie! Avocado, as already mentioned. Tuna, oh how I welcome a new protein. And peaches! I always love the fruit of the month. Lots of beans, so better stock up on the Beano. Really, I'm just ready for something different. I'm sure within 2 weeks, I'll be whining like my cranky 5-year-old, complaining, "If I have to eat one more bite of kale!" But until then, I will soak up the joy of novelty . . .

Shoes!

Guess what arrived this afternoon from the friendly brown UPS truck? Yes, yes, yes-- my hooker heels! Okay, so that sounds so trashy. Let's be honest-- the occasion was oh-so exquisite, and the shoes are actually quite divine. I slowly opened the box, delicately removed the tissue paper. Each shoe was wrapped separately in a sheer white gauzy bag, and as I pulled the first shoe out, I felt like Cinderella holding that glass slipper, knowing that this shoe was mine. I think I heard angels sing and saw a radiant beam of light pierce my kitchen ceiling. I've never seen such a pretty shoe.

I quickly unwrapped the second one, pulled all the fluff out, and tried them on. Length perfect. Width to be expected. I have unusually narrow feet, my only body part that belongs on a supermodel, it's so long and skinny. I debated about going a size down; they don't offer half sizes. But I'm worried my toes will pop over the front, and that just looks tacky, right?

Initially, I thought, this isn't too bad. I can walk in these. But the more steps I took, the more I felt muscles in my ankles that I've never used before. Talk about toning shoes!

So the advice I had received about walking to the mailbox . . . Trainer Jill gave me even better advice. Do NOT wear these shoes on asphalt/cement. They will get shredded; they will look used and abused. Practice on carpet, any surface that will not damage the shoes in any way. So, sorry, neighbors . . . no free shows! Unless you'd like to come over and sit on my couch; I will happily strut myself. Because that's what these shoes make you want to do.

I am in love with my shoes. Fondling my pretty shoes, I momentarily forget how hard this eating plan is and just think, yes, it is totally worth it to have a good excuse to buy these shoes. Luckily I did my homework and found the same shoes Christine Marsh Designs has for $75 at Fitness Pro Direct for $44. Maybe I shouldn't share that info; now you're all going to run out and order these shoes so you can feel as tall and pretty as I feel walking around my house :) Alas, if I've started a new trend, let it be! All women should feel like a supermodel sometimes . . .

Emotional Roller Coaster

If you had run into me yesterday around 5 pm, you would've met with a frowny face and a disgruntled attitude. I had just met with my trainer and confessed all my shortcomings with the diet. I admitted the nibbling. In response to my honesty, she gave me a "pep talk". All about self-discipline and the ego and committing to decisions. I nodded profusely, yes, yes, okay, okay. But inside, I was feeling defeated.

my mom, me, & beautiful sisters

Just the night before I had had a fun girls night with my sisters, who both agreed that I was WEIRD. I drink my coffee weird (flavored stevia and organic soy milk); I eat my chocolate weird-- yes, this was one of those cheats, but it's 90% cocoa, almost no sugar & a bit of protein. I offered my sisters a bite; one refused and one spit it out upon tongue contact. My entire diet is weird. My smelly asparagus pee is weird. Not to mention my bedtime routine is weird, which is abnormally long due to the intake of supplements and vitamins, removal of contacts, removal of make-up, peeing, flossing, brushing teeth for 4 minutes straight, washing face, moisturizing, administering of Latisse (courtsey of the makers of my implants), stretching (which I actually skipped while they were there), and peeing again. My unique habit of repeatedly folding and unfolding the crisp hem of my pillowcase between my finger nails is WEIRD. Don't get me wrong. I laugh about all this because I like being weird. I was feeling mighty proud of myself for being weird.

But then I met with the trainer and felt too normal. I cheat. I nibble. I'm an emotional eater. I'm wishy-washy in my commitments. I succumb to social eating. I pout internally because I want cheesecake and chocolate and cupcakes and brownies and bread. I felt like a failure.

So yesterday evening, I was down in the dumps depressed. So much so that I lost my appetite completely. I had to run to Costco and I didn't sample a thing. I had to prep my meals for the remainder of the weekend, and I didn't even nibble. I had to make two giant fruit salads for the back-to-school teachers luncheon the PTA puts on, and I . . . okay, well, I tasted to make sure the canteloupe was edible, but really, I didn't nibble as much as I usually would. And suddenly, I felt better. I had spent hours in my kitchen and hadn't eaten but perhaps 100 calories. Trainer Jill has challenged me to go 6 days with no cheating. Not an extra almond, not a lick of the peanut butter knife, not an extra bite of chicken, and surely not a piece of bread or a cookie.

Luckily, I like a challenge. This morning, I woke up with a new attitude, a new determination. And I've done great today. I've felt great today. I haven't been hungry or mad or depressed or bitter. The fact is, she's right. If I can go 6 days straight, I will get the cravings, the temptations, the nibbles out of my system. That voice in my head that says, "Just one bite won't hurt." Or, "You worked out so hard today; you've earned a few extra calories." Or, "You've got plenty of time; don't peak too soon." That voice is what I need to overcome. And I can do it. And then hopefully my days will be more ups than downs.

It truly is an emotional roller coaster. At times I wonder why the h* I'm doing this to myself (and yes, I swear with first letters only); it's crazy. I want to be normal. But then I experience these amazing epiphanies, this occasional enlightenment, and it's not just about the eating, the workouts, the sacrifice of sugar and chocolate and oatmeal and bread. It's about willpower. And determination. And a kind of strength I never knew I had. It's about being weird and being okay with that. There's a strange sense of peace when you realize that you really can survive if you don't eat that cookie, and when there's no emotions attached to the not-eating. Usually, there's still that yearning, or if you do eat it, there's that guilt. All those emotions-- that's not peace. But when you pass it up with absolutely no emotions involved, that's really quite something. And it's rare.

Now-- will I ever compete again after October 2010?? Usually I say NEVER. I'm already announcing my early retirement. But, then again . . . who knows what I'll say when I've actually finally done it?

3 Weeks Down, 8 to Go!

So I've been terrible about updating because my progress has been so terribly SLOW. Which is frustrating when I'm gnawing my way through 2 cups of celery instead of enjoying my warm bowl of oatmeal every morning, day in & day out. I think my problem is I want quick results; I expect quick results with the strict eating regimen I'm on. And when I don't see it, I start to get what is termed "the nibbles"-- I thought I made this up myself, but after reading a bodybuilding blog, I realized everyone gets the nibbles. The term probably goes as far back as the neanderthals-- frustrated after unsuccuessful hunting and gathering, they probably ate anything mildly edible that they happened upon. Only I don't eat anything-- I nibble a few extra almonds here, a few raspberries there (which aren't on the regimen right now), some watermelon (I justify this as my water intake), and if I'm really naughty, the crust of my child's whole wheat PBJ. I know, that sounds pathetic, but you don't realize the joy to the tastebuds of that "accidental" run-in with peanut butter. Besides, it's hard to overcome my previous belief system: that if it isn't on MY plate, the calories don't count.

So I get the nibbles. And it's my guess that the nibbles are holding me back. Today I weighed in at 123.8, down only 1 pound from last week. (It didn't help that last night was a huge family birthday party, i.e. Costco cake, and Friday night was a BBQ with friends.) That's about 2 hours of intense exercise a day, on 1300 cal a day (plus nibbles). My tape measurements are more encouraging. I've lost about 1/2 inch from each thigh, 1/4 inch from my waist from last week. The mirror is even more encouraging. I am beginning to see that oblique arch; my abs are pretty stellar (underneath the nibbles fat); my arms are sleeker; my legs are becoming more symmetrical (right and left measurements are matching more). Symmetry is an important part of what judges are looking for, or so I've read, so I've been working on that. When I look in the mirror, I yell at my scale. What does Mr. Weight Watchers Scale know anyway? It always says my body fat is 23%, no matter if I weigh 130 or 117. Stupid $60 scale. Cost more than my hooker heels I just ordered . . .

I'm feeling good, though, going into this next week because a.) the hubby is going on a work trip. For some reason, when he's gone, I eat less. I'm too busy to even sit down when he's gone, and I don't have to watch him chowing down on chips and salsa and whatnot every evening.  b.) it's the last week on this eating regimen. Yes! Granted, the next round Trainer Jill gives me may be even harder. I've lucked out some with the strawberries and red peppers and grilled zucchini. But anything, ANY.THING. you have to eat every day for 4 weeks is going to make you depressed after awhile. You begin to feel a dreariness, a monotony, like, haven't I lived this same exact day? Didn't I live it yesterday and the day before yesterday and the day before that?? Wake up, eat your meal, work out, eat your meal . . . yada yada yada. I'm excited for a new meal plan. Fingers crossed . . . I'm guessing every regimen will have some basics in common. First and foremost- spinach. Lots of spinach. It's the biggest iron source when you're not eating red meat. It has very few calories. And it's filling. Popeye had it right about spinach. I'm guessing more turkey and chicken, though I'd love some mahi instead. Mahi's pricier, but oh so tender, and you can eat more of it for the same caloric value of a teeny weeny piece of chicken. I wouldn't mind tuna either. As far as veggies, I'm guessing broccoli because I haven't had broccoli in awhile. I'd be good with that. Though the zucchini has been arriving on my doorstep for FREE from my kind neighbors, and the broccoli in my garden is beginning to dwindle. And the fruit? Last time it was grapes and pineapple; this time a little banana, blueberries, & strawberries. Really, I will take all the fruit I can get and any fruit she so kindly gives me! I'm kind of a fruit fanatic! What I know for sure is that there will not be chocolate, ice cream, cereal, or bread anywhere in my meal plan.

Ah . . . I might as well stop guessing. I'll know by this upcoming weekend. I'm sure you, my dear readers, will be hanging on the edge of your seats just waiting to know, too! Until then, enjoy this little list I came upon . . . I actually get some of it now:

You Know You're a Figure Competitor When:

1. For a few days each year your toilet seat is brown and this time it ins't the husbands fault.


2. You can honestly say you have spent more on a bathing suit than your wedding dress.

3. Five inch clear hooker heels are your footwear of choice in your own home (and not just in the bedroom).

4. Someone asks about the man in your life and you tell that Gym is fine!

5. You have two sections in your wardrobe. Contest-season and Off-season. And they aren't mix and match.

6. Your top three priorities on any given day:

A. Workout.

B. Eat Clean.

C. Check the fitness forum board.

Not necessarily in that order.

7. You can name any pro figure competitor by seeing her butt alone.

8. When someone wants to take your picture, you immediately spread your lats, tighten every muscle in your body, point your fingers and SMILE!

9. You take more pills daily than your 80 year old grandmother.

10. Your idea of dressing up is taking your hair out of the pony tail its been in for a week.

11. If you have had someone close to you, hide food from you in your own house.

12. An easy day is lifting and only 1 cardio session.

13. Instead of carrying a Gucci pursue you accessorize with a Coleman cooler.

14. Waking up so sore you can barely move puts a smile on your face.

15. You cant do any work because you are to busy counting down the seconds until your next meal.

16. The faint smell of Pro Tan gets your heart pumping faster than your man's cologne.

17. You leave a little trail of Splenda packets, tupperware, and empty water bottles everywhere you go.

18. Your hubby makes you pee in the guest bathroom because every meal includes asparagus.

19. You consider Beano an essential part of your supplement regimen.

20. Your jaws are sore because you can't stop chewing sugar free gum!

21. You spend at least 5 minutes grilling your server at a restaurant, and another five minutes re-writing the menu until you've got a meal that meets your diet's specifications, and then you devour it in less than 60 seconds flat!!

22. You consider a day when you only have to make ONE trip to the gym a luxury!

23. You think about having relaxed hands and sticking your butt out while standing in line at the grocery store.

24. You consider condiments and diet coke taboo!!!

25. And your neighbors start gossiping that you've had lipo cause there is no way a girl could get that fit in 12 weeks!