Day 16 . . . Anything but "Sweet"

Again, blogging as my diversion. The hubby is eating Costco sushi, and yes, it looks really, really good, despite being pre-packaged! I'm boiling eggs and silently swearing. I wish my kids would keep the pantry doors closed; I'm always going behind them closing it, trying to avoid direct eye contact with pita chips and Peanut Butter Capn Crunch. I've done this so many times that the handle fell off yesterday. Tried to screw it back on, but the threads are shot. Decidely, the pantry is overused and abused. But not by me. I've realized that everything I can eat must come from the fridge-- fresh vegetables, a few fruits, egg whites, sliced turkey, frozen mahi, salmon, and chicken. My dear hubby, who finds it painful to actually move items around in the fridge to find what he wants and loudly insists it's not there because he can't see it, actually hit the appliance outlet this weekend. He came home with a refurbished fridge for $100.

So my new old fridge sits happily humming in my garage, storing my Costco-sized bags of fresh broccoli, strawberries, grapes. The hubby threw in some sodas, luckily not a temptation whatsoever to me-- I've always hated carbonation. Besides his munching on potato chips at 9 o'clock at night (and eating sushi in front of me), the hubby has been quite supportive, hence the new old fridge. He isn't always so supportive of my crazy endeavors ("why do you have to spend so much on . . . shoes/socks/zoot suit/bike rental/race fees?" "do i have to drive 3 hrs to watch you run in a marathon?") but this time he is. He likes that for once, I'm asking him for input and advice. "Which protein powder has the least carbs and fat, honey?" "What do you mix in your shaker bottle?" "What load and reps do you do for this muscle?"

When I look at him in despair, complaining that my 2-week pics look the exact same as my before pics (which is why I haven't posted them yet!), he reminds me that he can tell. When I whine that I want to eat what everyone else is eating, he tells me that nobody else has my hot body. He's doing a mighty fine job supporting me and keeping me going. And I need it!

Despite the pics not showing a difference, the scale says I've lost. My belt, which is usually on the 3rd hole, is now on the 4th hole. The changes may not be noticeable yet to others, but they're happening. My biggest fear, is that when all is said and done, my body hasn't changed much. I will have nothing to show for my sacrifice, hard work, and tears! I'm clinging to this image of my "figure body" as my end result. What if it doesn't come?

Hopefully I'll have worthy pics to post after week 3. Stay tuned . . .

Day 11

Blogging. Because that's one of my 3 Diversion Activities when I really would rather be eating a chocolate eclair. I start each day totally excited, probably because I get to eat oatmeal, and I get my 11 grams of simple carbs for the day, in the form of a single squirt of agave nectar. Yum! It is surprising what foods taste "sweet" to me now. Topping the list are carrot sticks, sugar snap peas!, tomatoes, and berries. I melt for a bite of banana. If I'm in the mood for something creamy and chocolatey, I make a protein shake. It's best frothy from the blender, with a straw.

Foods I miss: pita chips, granola bars, Honey Bunches of Oats, & Cheerios. Kashi crackers with Babybel cheese. Notice it's not pizza, hot dogs, Twinkies, or Oreos. I never eat those anyway. Like I said, I was healthy before, minus the chocolate and ice cream, which I do also miss. But all these items do not provide enough bang for my buck. When you're limited in calories & you have a protein requirement and sugar limit, you're going for your nutrient's worth, and unfortunately, variety is NOT a feature.

But it's worth it. I was reminded of this fact when I weighed in this morning. 123.9. I'm trying to recall the last time I saw 123 on my scale. It was before my marathon training got heavy, so it's been many months, and I was beginning to worry I would never see that number again. I wanted to kiss my scale this morning, that number-- it was like running unexpectedly into an old but very good friend. I'm dumping "128"-- I'm so over him! (If we must assign a gender to our weight, it ought to be the one that is the source of most of our troubles, right? I'm referring to my puppy. And my son. And occassionally my husband . . .)

BTW, my cardio seems to be getting easier, or at least back to normal. The first week was rough, but yesterday I hit the ellitpical for 10 minutes, taught Zumba for 30, Pilates for 30, then ran 4 miles. And no, I don't spend the rest of the day in bed. I spent it dancing around at chorus practice (I volunteer 2 hours every Thursday at my kids school), playing with the dog, taxiing kids around town, and strolling through Costco, of course. Today I taught an hour of Cycle then did an hour of weights, followed by an hour of personal training, which required no physical work on my part but it does demonstrate that my energy levels are great. Had to immediately run to the school to deliver a baby gift for my daughter's teacher's baby shower, jet over to the eye doctor to fix some glasses, then finally arrived home for my 1 pm meal and a shower. energy's still feeling good, but this rainy-snowy-haily weather is making me want to veg on the couch, catch up on Grey's and Private Practice, and bake homemade chocolate chip cookies.

Well, so much for baking . . . but the couch still sounds good right now!

"It's not fair"

It's both a blessing and a curse that I announced to the world that I'm doing this diet . . . now anytime anyone sees me, it's "How's the diet?" The accountability is good. It's also pressure. I always smile and say, "Great!" And for the most part, I mean it. My skin is looking better; my flexibility, as I've already discussed, has improved; my muscles are beginning to pop just a bit, and my tummy is already visibly flatter. But . . . I do have my moments.

Like yesterday. I made the mistake, a very kind mistake mind you, of offering to provide lunch during Teacher Appreciation Week for all the faculty/staff who don't have room moms-- music, PE, computer teachers, resource teachers, secretaries, even the custodian, aides, and lunch ladies!

First off, let me digress and express my now love-hate relationship with Costco-- hello! How does anyone live without a Costco membership? I got all the fixins for a delicious Chinese Chicken salad, plus soft white rolls, and brownie bites, oh and a bouquet of freshly snipped tulips, all for under $50. So this is what I love about Costco: bulk food so that you can easily feed 20 teachers. Or a family of 5 that really loves bananas, blueberries, hummus, milk, Z bars, mango salsa, and Stacy's Naked Pita Chips. Alas, most of the food on that list is now temporarily forbidden to me, or at least cut back. Light on the blueberries and bananas and milk (did you know skim milk has 12 grams of sugar per cup? Have I mentioned this already?) and no more Naked Pita Chips or Z bars . . . too "man-made." This is what I now hate about Costco: the willpower it requires to pass up free food samples of dark chocolate pomegranates, strong cheese, and oatmeal cranberry cookies! But I can't NOT go to Costco. I go there at least once or twice a week, while my 8-year old is in gymnastics. I'm kind of a Costco junkie-- I like to just see what's new. And stock up on what we go through the most: toilet paper, blueberries, and milk. Now: eggs. And they have friendly eggs  at an oh-so-affordable price. But back to my mistake . . .

I had no difficulty (temptation-wise) assembling the salad, setting out the rolls and butter and brownie bites. I was happy to hear the "oohs" and "ahhs" and "so delicious" from all who hungrily partook. It was just a little disheartening as I sat down to enjoy some of it after everyone had eaten, and I had to limit myself to the greens, the chicken, oh the chicken, and some of the veggies. The dressing had been mixed in, so I poked through to find the dry pieces of lettuce. I skipped the wontons and crunchy noodle things, the feta cheese, the pita crackers, the roll, and the brownie bites (those bite-sized morsels of chocolate decadence looked so small and harmless)! And I ate slowly, trying to quell that silly voice inside my head that said those three words I absolutely detest from the mouths of my children:

it's not fair.

I didn't even want to admit to myself that I had that thought, because it's so childish. But I did have that moment. I felt grumpy. I felt bitter. I felt sick and tired of eating pretty much the same thing for the past 10 days. And I felt really mad that everyone around me was eating really tasty, sugary, fattening foods that smelled really good. Even watching my kids eat a bowl of cereal was making me jealous. Yes, I had the thought of a 10-year-old: it's not fair.

But really, it IS fair. If I wanted to have a normal body, I could easily eat one brownie bite and survive. But I want something better right now, something beyond normal. Something more extraordinary. And when I attain it, the last thing I want to hear from anyone is:

it's not fair.

Day 6

Survived a week. Now have to survive the weekEND. Starting weight: 127.2. Current weight: 124.6. Likin' what I see! Thought I was doing perfect with the diet, but after a friendly reminder from Jill to watch my sugars, I've realized I'm still getting too much sugar. That single slice of Sara Lee Delightful bread may only have 45 calories but it does have 1 gram of sugar, as does my protein powder, almonds, and oatmeal. Skim milk has 12 grams, but I haven't had any of that yet. Milk, greek yogurt (bleh!), and cottage cheese are my "last resort" protein items. I guess when I get utterly sick of sliced turkey, mahi, and egg whites that bitter-sour greek yogurt might taste better!

Okay, so unexpected side effects of this new regimen: improved flexibility! I figured that by upping the intensity of my weight training that I would get tighter. Not so. Check out my splits (haven't done those babies in a long time!).

My advanced yoga poses are getting easier because of my improved upper body strength. Surprisingly, my shoulders (which are one of my recurring injury issues) have been feeling better. My wrists feel stronger. Not sure if I should attribute this to just the amped up weight routine or the increase in protein intake or the massive amount of water I've been guzzling or everything combined. Whatever the clever culprit, I'm excited about these improvements.

I love feeling stronger!

2 Days Down

I have officially survived two days of my diet. By morning 2, those hard-boiled egg whites were already making me gaggy. I need to get more creative with egg white preparation. Surprisingly, however, I don't feel like I'm starving. In fact, by my last meals of the day, I feel almost full. I double and triple checked the serving size of my George Foreman-grilled mahi . . . that's a big chunk of yummy fish for only 100 calories, no fat, and tons of protein! With all the raw veggies on the side, I was totally stuffed. For a moment I thought, surely I cannot lose weight and feel this full. But then I realized that's the beauty of this diet-- it's not how much you're eating, but WHAT you're eating and WHEN.

Don't get me wrong. When my kids asked me to dish them up some chocolate ice cream, I was silently cursing. The cruelty! My kids, by the way, are loving this diet thing. So far for dinner, they've eaten cereal and waffles. Yes, I had to butter, syrup, and slice those waffles, and I did so without slipping a bite onto my sugar-deprived taste buds. Even their cereal looked like a bowl full of heaven. But when I set my mind to something, I do it, and I certainly wasn't going to fail on day 2 for a few seconds of Chocolate Cheerios bliss.

Another surprise. I stepped on my scale this morning, even though she recommended once a week, it's just too easy-- my scale is right there in my bathroom, and seems a temptation that isn't too terribly dangerous. And I had already lost 2.1 lbs in 2 days. It's for sure not water weight, because I've been drinking a gallon of water a day! I am peeing like I mean business, urgent business. Don't be surprised if you see me in Target packin' a Camelbak. Because shopping at Target is serious business, too.

Well, the laundry calls, and so does my 5 pm meal . . . more posts to come . . .

The Art of Hard-Boiling Eggs

So I just cooked my first batch of eggs, 22 of them. Because that's how many I had in my fridge. It feels like Easter. I kept a dozen of them in their shell & prepped the rest. I immediately rinsed the eggs under cold water after boiling, for easy shell removal. For the most part, it was easy. I was beginning to feel like a pro. Crack once on top, once on bottom, once on the front, once on the back, and voila-- peels right off. Then came a rebellious little sucker. In the process of trying to gently peel each shell particle off, I lost a good chunk of that precious egg white! So I implore my readers . . . any good egg shell tips?? I can tell this is going to be a time-consuming task, especially compared to the time required to actually ingesting them!

But Jill told me to come up with 3 activities to do when I feel tempted to raid my pantry. I decided 1.) read a book. Because my "to read" stack is continually growing. 2.) walk the dog. Because his shiny fur coat deserves some showing off. and 3.) blog. Because time is always my excuse for not keeping up with one. But now that I won't be spending 10-minute increments staring at my pantry, time is on my side.

Now I can add a 4th- boil and peel eggs.

Eggs!

For those of you who know me, you know that I am a softy, with a compassionate heart and passionate ideas. I love animals. I love the earth, the universe, the chi, the prana, and all that good stuff. I am not against eating animals, because all creatures must die at some point. But I am against cruel lives, because every creature deserves a happy life and a purpose-full life. This is why I prefer to purchase organic cage free, vegetarian-fed chicken eggs. Yes, they're more expensive, but this hasn't been a problem in the past, because we don't eat eggs all too often.

Until now . . .

This diet has placed me in a predicament. I will be eating about 8 hard-boiled egg whites a day. I already have a plan for those egg yolks. They go to my mischievous but can't-help-but-love labradoodle puppy Kai. Hopefully it will make his black wavy coat shiny and silky. But can I afford to keep buying those happy chicken eggs? The miserable chicken eggs are so darn cheap!

On the other hand, I will be saving a lot of money from not eating out and not eating much. Perhaps I can afford to divert those funds straight to my egg account.

before pics

Humility. Humiliation? Hope! And hunger.

before pics

wow, I'm really putting myself out there.

Pre-Diet Part 2

Bring on the sabotaging. I know it will come. Nobody likes the woman who already looks good trying to look better when they themselves lack the motivation to even get off the couch. They will snigger behind my back, or probably to my face(book), that I am going too extreme, that it's not healthy, that I've gone cuckoo. I know this, because I'm sure I've done it myself, usually with a secret jealousy that I lacked the self-motivation and self-discipline to attempt it myself. It's okay if you feel/think any of the above mentioned opinions.

Admittedly, I would not give this diet and training program to any of my clients. Only because it doesn't match their goals nor does it meet my training niche-- which is to help overweight women lose weight and adopt a healthy, active lifestyle, as well as to help fit people overcome injury through alignment exercises. But I do make my clients work harder than they really want to, and now I get to discover just how they feel!

Thanks to my friend Jill, a competitive figure and bodybuilder, I have someone to push me past what I thought I was capable of. And someone to be accountable to. And someone to support me, because she's the crazy who inspired me, and she knows.

So we met last week for the assessment. Basic personal training stuff, which I passed with flying colors. But then she sat me down. I told her my goal. Figure body. A look of sheer excitement crossed her cute face. "Let's do it." She then proceeded to tell me that everything I eat is a no-no. No instant oatmeal packets. No protein bars. No granola bars, or Z bars, or any bar of any sort. Nothing man-made for the most part. Everything should be straight from the bountiful' Earth's ground, trees, or animals (the fat-free variety, of course). No pasta, wheat rolls, or even quinoa with dinner-- that's too late in the day for that much carb. And obviously, no simple carbs! Well, I lie. I get 11 simple carbs with breakfast. That's a drip of agave in my plain oatmeal. And that's it for the entire day. My complex carbs should mostly come during the afternoon, in the form of fresh, raw fruits and vegetables. I'm thrilled about that much at least.

She then told me what I could eat. I won't get too specific here, as the diet was designed for me, my body, my goals, and I wouldn't want to be blamed for some copy-catter attempting my diet and it failing, or worse yet, some high risk individual ending up hospitalized. Needless to say, it's a diet. It restricts calories. It's hi protein, low fat, moderate complex carbs. I nodded, I wrote it down. I tried to think what food has that much protein and that little fat . . . (upon going home and doing my research, I learned that it's not much! egg whites, tuna, chicken, fish. the end.)

I must insert, ACE & AFAA have firmly resolved that we as instructors and trainers should teach, no more than 15% protein a day. I quizzed my friend on this fact. She acknowledged that the majority of people should follow the basic rule. But she, and now myself, are not in the majority. Jill looks great; she exudes youthfulness and health and energy and vitality (she's a mother of 6!) I'm trusting her on this one. Hopefully my kidneys and spleen hold up with this much protein. Stay tuned on this one . . .

Despite some concerns, I'm ready. And excited. Now I just have to figure out what I'll be eating for the next 5 weeks and food prep. Brand new body, here I come!

And as extra motivation, I bought some jeans that are too tight. See pic. (WARNING: mild to moderate muffin-top images follow. shield your eyes if you are prone to nausea and vomiting at the sight of muffin-top.) I'm also posting before pics. And during and after pics to log my transformation.

Pre-Diet Preparations

I'm the queen of starting a blog, writing one entry, and forgetting about it. But now I'm committed, for 5 weeks at least. At the request of friends and fitness colleagues, I am blogging about my quest for a "figure" body-- less buff than "bodybuilder", more toned & defined than "bikini". I am already fit and active (I teach yoga, Pilates, Zumba (R), Cycle, etc. as well as run), but lately I have been using my fitness as a license to eat whatever I want. In no way does that mean I eat terribly; I'm a hundred times better than the average American, but that isn't saying much.

The main problem: I like me some cookies. Preferably with chocolate. I am a closet Cookie Monster (only I actually intake all the crumbs). I like ice cream. Smooth, creamy, slow-churned (but 1/2 the fat) mint chocolate cookie or peanut butter cup. I go weak in the knees when I walk through the Macey's bakery. But I blame the grocery store managers completely. They cleverly put those piles of cookies and brownies right at the entrance of the store, where the heater vents propel the wafts of baked goods directly into one's nostrils and invariably tug us toward the bakery dept even if all we needed was milk.

I'm also a victim of the Depression era. Anyone else raised to scrape their plates clean by parents whose parents whose parents survived the Depression via not wasting a single morsel of food? It's bad. When I'm dishing my daughter's uneaten soggy cereal or clumpy mac and cheese into my mouth, I wonder with disgust, and yes, some awe, why I can't just throw it away.

So after facing my bad habits head on, I've decided enough's enough. I have to stop listening to the voice inside my head that says, "Lots of overweight women would kill to have your body. So go ahead, eat a few more dark chocolate covered pomegranates. You're fine." It may be so. But it's complacency. It's mediocrity. It's not my best me, and I can feel it.

My Last Supper

Yesterday was such a cold, crummy day, I would've been fine to eat cereal and curl up by the fire. But the hubby had to return a redbox movie, and Bajio's was right there. He offered to pick up some dinner, one last luxury meal before the diet starts. He knew what to get me-- my usual: the chicken green chile salad with mango salsa, pico, no tortilla strips, no cheese, but bring on the creamy dressing. I ate it all, even the tortilla on the side. Licked that aluminum plate-bowl clean. I realized, though, besides the dressing and tortilla, that meal wasn't too sinful. Mostly lettuce. And chicken. The dressing was the true guilty pleasure, and so I really ate it up. Topped it off as one should any spicy meal. Chocolate. Those delectable dark chocolate pomegranates from Costco. Ate a whole serving, then groaned in mild remorse. Good. It'll make me really happy to start this diet and feel clean.

For breakfast today, I killed two birds with one stone: played the role of Perfect Mommy while savoring one more pre-diet delight-- made pancakes. Whole wheat banana pancakes, topped with Brummel & Brown and powdered sugar. See pic.

I'm actually feeling ready to say good-bye to all these "last meals" & get started with it already!