Then I showered and got dolled up for this PTA Awards luncheon at the district office. I actually interrogated the PTA Pres beforehand and got intel that it was catered, Wallaby's. I knew the hubby would be pleased about that (bbq pulled meat is a man's food!), but I knew I may have very few options for my plate. I armed myself with a strong mindset. It helped that a few people at the table knew about this program I'm following, so even if I wanted to, I couldn't scarf down that casual Aussie buffet. What I wasn't prepared for were the plates of straberry-raspberry drenched cheesecake slices placed so conveniently in front of everyone's place setting. I pushed mine slightly out of view and tried to forget about it.
I piled my plate with the plain bagged salad, no dressing, no croutons, then estimated 4 ounces of plain pulled pork. Luckily the sugary bbq sauces were on the side, but who knows how much sugar the pork was cooked in. Unfortunately, protein-wise, my choices were pork and beef. I hoped that pork was the wiser pick, but not too sure on that. Ideally, they would have had chicken, but whatcha gonna do . . . I gracefully skipped the thick-sliced fresh baked white bread and of course the cheesy bacony smashed potatoes.
Did I mention there was also candy strewn on the table? I tossed three Starbursts in my purse as future kid-bribery, but partook of nothing. I had been drinking water all morning, so I had to politely excuse myself twice to relieve my ever-filling bladder. And I used conversation and program reading to avoid feeling bored while everyone else continued to eat and eat and eat.
Finally, I couldn't take it any longer. I looked at the cheesecake. I looked at my hubby. "One bite won't kill me, right?" He did NOT come to my aid. So I delicately took my clear plastic fork and very daintily stabbed the strawberry on top. One strawberry half. Harmless. Oooh, but that raspberry topping begged to be tasted, and well, it needed just a teeny bit of cheesecake to complement it. Once I had ingested all the fruity decadence and a skimming of cheesecake, I gained composure and pushed the plate away. I had to fight that voice in my head, "You're wasting perfectly good cheesecake!" But I stayed strong. Despite a moment of weakness, I felt proud that I left 90% of that cheesecake intact.
I tried to make up for that mishap by keeping my next "meal" very small. 4 hard-boiled egg whites. That's all I had time for, too. I had to go to the school and fulfill my volunteer chorus duties. When I got home, I was still a bit hungry, so I had some fruit (strawberries, blueberries, grapes.) This was slightly cheating, too, because fruit tends to be a naturally sugary carb, so I should eat them early in the day and stick to veggies after 3 pm, but I can't help it. I love me some fruit.
My silly slip was when the kids came home from school with all their Easter party goodies. Daughter #2 left hers spread all over the kitchen table. I tried to avoid eye contact, but 3 jelly beans and 1 robin egg got me. I told said daughter to remove her candy from public view. She ignored me. I tossed them in the trash. That'll show that evil candy who's boss! It'll also show my kids, Mom means business. I'm sure with the upcoming onslaught of Easter candy tomorrow and Sunday, she won't even miss those jelly beans and bubble gum.
The question is . . . how am I going to survive the onslaught of candy? Again, I need to put on my armor of Willpower, knowing that the enemy soon will strike. I know his face; I know his name; I know his power. (bright yellow and orange and brown packaging, Reese's Peanut Butter eggs, gluttonous devouring). It's not like I'm going into this weekend blindly and unawares. I'm still scared.
I am allowed one cheat meal on the weekend. But I feel like I kinda already took it today. And do I dare waste an entire meal with one peanut butter egg or a handful of robin eggs? Luckily, we're not involved in any huge family dinners. We can thank travel plans on his side and drama on my side for that. So no worries over honey-glazed hams, twice-baked potatoes, rolls, butter, cakes, pies, more butter. We're having a small dinner, grilled salmon, salad, raw veggies. I think I'll make the kids egg-shaped ham and cheese sandwiches & maybe let them bake those not-very-tempting Pillsbury ready-bake cookies. Although when depriving oneself of even basic food luxuries (like crackers), even gross food starts to look desirable.
Tonight after eating my delicious mahi and veggies, I made the rest of the fam a store-bought oven pizza & salad. I thought I'd be okay slicing it up for them, but the gooey cheesy pepperoni that slipped off looked, I'm embarrassed to admit, slightly heavenly. I resisted, though. A woman can only sink so low in one day.
Instead I had a serving of cocoa almonds. Yes, they have a bit too much fat for my program, but they are my saving grace right now. Better than M&Ms, those cocoa almonds. And hard to find. Not every grocery store carries them, and I have yet to memorize which ones do. When I do see them, I stock up. I think it's Target that has them.
On the plus side, two people who don't see me on a daily basis saw me today and commented on my weight loss. Wow. Is 4 pounds that noticeable? And . . . those super tight boutique jeans I got? I'm wearing them right now and can actually breathe while I sit.
So yes. I can get through this weekend. I must. And I really need to buckle down the final two weeks before I follow up with my trainer. I don't want to look like a schmuck to a colleague!
Well, my eggs are done boiling. Time to go peel.
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